Relationship

Breadcrumbing and ghosting: 2 painful ways to “love” and say goodbye without committing

Love is not a game; therefore, whoever plays with someone who loves him, is not worth remembering. Are they kidding you?

Nothing is more terrible than living in a state of constant uncertainty. It’s like being floating in the void, without a platform to land on and without a limit to overcome.

When you love someone, what you do is trust that person and hope they don’t break your heart. Still, it often happens that people do not want to have a serious romantic relationship. It is normal for these intentions to be communicated, but this is not the case.

It’s simple to be honest and say that you don’t want to have a romantic relationship. The problem is that many people prefer to avoid or lie, for them, this is the same as not hurting; are seriously mistaken.

What is Ghosting?

Social networks have brought with them multiple ways of relating. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s great that we can meet hundreds of people from many parts of the world.

The problem arises when people give themselves the opportunity to have long-distance relationships. For those who really feel committed, this is not a problem; however, there are those who, after establishing an apparently serious relationship, suddenly disappear. They don’t give an explanation or a why; this leaves the “other” with a strong sense of uncertainty.

Ghosting is just that, establishing a relationship and then disappearing from the “face of the earth” for no apparent reason.

Why are there people who act like this? The truth is, we don’t know. Everyone can have their reasons, but nothing justifies breaking someone’s heart that way.

Breadcrumbing or dropper love

This is another innovative way of establishing romantic relationships. The typical scenario in which this new “way of loving” becomes more evident is social networks.

Breadcrumb is an English word that is translated, means “bread crumb”. That’s how they show affection: like breadcrumbs. The intention is to keep the addicted person in a “love relationship” that will never move forward.

What’s similar?

To begin with, it is immoral to treat another human being in this way. When the person treated in these two ways does not love, there will be no further inconvenience; however, when you love someone who leaves you without reason or who gives you love halfway, you suffer indescribably.

Second, these situations also occur in relationships without a screen between the couple. One day you may be in a relationship and everything is okay; however, one of the parties may decide to disappear to avoid “the drama of the breakup”. There are also sentimental relationships in which demonstrations of affection are given “little by little”. In both cases, the pain is the same. One feels betrayed in both cases.

Love is not a game

Loving and being reciprocated is a wonderful thing; therefore, when you start a relationship, what you least expect is to be the victim of a cruel game.

How difficult can it be to tell someone that you no longer want to be with her or him? It can be complicated, but it’s a sign of respect to bravely face the breakup.

Why give miseries of affection? If you’re not convinced you to want to be with this person, just end the relationship. This is better than playing with someone who is possibly in love.

Now, if anyone thinks they’re going to get out of this situation unscathed, there’s a big problem with that. Life is the roulette wheel: today you are the one who plays with someone’s love; tomorrow you may be the victim of your own invention.

What to do in these situations?

If you’re a victim of ghosting or breadcrumbing, in either case, it’s best to put a stop to it. Don’t be interested in looking for these people. Often their level of narcissism is such that they need to humiliate others in order to be happy.

Nothing speaks more ill of someone than mocking the one who loves him. That kind of person doesn’t deserve one more second of your pain. What you have to do is admit that if someone has been missing for more than two weeks, they won’t come back.

Closing the loop through the empty chair

Given this situation, what I recommend is the empty chair technique. Basically, it’s sitting in front of an empty chair and visualizing that the one who broke your heart is sitting there. When you can “see” him, then start telling him everything you feel and think. It doesn’t matter if words come out that you never thought to say; what matters is to express and eliminate your pain, vent and say goodbye. Trust me, it works and helps you heal.

If you are a victim of breadcrumbing, what I recommend is that you confront this person about their treatment of you. Remember that setting limits on a regular basis makes those who take advantage of you run away.

Nobody wants to be unmasked; so facing it makes you realize that you’re no fool. This person will know that you are no longer willing to let them play with you. This will make you leave or change your attitude, so it will be you who will decide whether to stay in this relationship or look for a person capable of loving you as you deserve.

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