Are you a better person because of him or her? If so, where do you fit?

Nothing says more about true love than when the person you love makes you want to be a better version of yourself.

I always dreamed of that person who would come into my life to transform me from the inside. I don’t want love at the moment! I want a real one that makes me shiver from head to toe.

I’ve had my crazy time when I did a lot of foolishness in favour of a love that could never exist. Now I know what I want. So I don’t have time for distractions anymore.

I’m mature enough to know the difference between a simple attraction, a  passion and love. Not that the first two are worth less than the last, they are just the prelude to true love; for which every effort is worth it. However, finding true love costs a lot and is only achieved after years of experience and maturity.

I don’t believe what they say out there that “first love” is the real first love. Honestly, first love is a fallacy as we don’t even know how we feel. It’s all visceral; and love, though difficult to understand, is a fair balance between the mind and the heart.

When you’re young, you basically get carried away by appearances. Of course, in adulthood it also happens; fortunately, the situation changes little by little and the relationships become more intimate and deeper. Few people are left with first impressions. Over time, this changes; love makes you change.

Now, how do you know if the person next to you is a “ good love ”? Simple, it helps you be a better version of yourself. You often change so much that people around you don’t know you, but all your changes are for the better.

Do you change because you want to or because you are forced to change?

For both reasons; of course, one is harmful and the other is not.

When someone changes because they “feel” coerced by their partner into making these changes, they don’t consciously make them. Furthermore, I dare say that a person is driven to make changes without even realizing it.

I know of a case of a Spanish woman who shared her experience on social media. She met her abuser at age 15. She said that when she was with him on weekends, she liked to look pretty. She used to always be well-groomed for him. Despite this, the man ignored her and seemed very distant. However, on weekends when she dressed casually and put her hair in a ponytail, he thought she was beautiful. Gradually, to win her boyfriend’s love, she made it a habit to dress up like that.

She admitted that he manipulated her in a very clever way to get her to be the way he wanted her to. It was at that moment that she began to lose control of her own life, becoming in his hands. The man became aggressive and life became hell for her.

Things are different when the person you love is, above all, someone you admire. If you appreciate your talent, kindness, discipline, honesty and tenderness, you want to be a better person. You don’t want to compete with him or please him, but be a better version of yourself.

The interesting thing is that the changes should not be unilateral. You also have qualities that he admires, so he tries to be better to deserve you. It’s the constant feedback that makes the two of you better. The interest of both, without realizing it, is to be happy together because they complement each other.

The couple is not perfect, but proficient

It’s not that these types of couples who get better are perfect. It is that both are fully capable of compromising, forgiving and changing in favour of both. This is done because both are openly aware of their responsibilities and assume the results of their actions.

This is what being a good love is all about, being someone in whom your partner can see himself reflected and gives him the strength to overcome himself.

The magic is in both being able to see their strengths and discovering each other more every day. In addition, the two complement and support each other in difficult times in life, and become better for each other.

I think it must be wonderful to have someone on whom you can rest your sorrows and enjoy your joys. It must be nice to know that when you get home, the person you love will be there to comfort you.

It’s not about expecting everything to be perfect and never having problems; but knowing that even if there is, the two of them will be able to overcome them and move on.

You know that person is a good lover when they don’t run away during your cloudy moments. When someone is on the shoulder you can stand on, that someone deserves the best from you.

It’s rewarding to share and offer support, to know that you are needed and that you will be reciprocated. Nothing says more about a person than the fact that they make you want to be better every day.

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