Apathy and boredom in a relationship: how to avoid it

Often, the couple loses interest in recovering the relationship, plunged into boredom and apathy and, without realizing it, end up allowing love to be fractured.

Most of us want the relationship with our spouse to be perfect and forever, just like in fairy tales; or, at least, let it be like at the beginning of the relationship, when there was that magic full of passion, adventure, complicity and love.

But not everything is forever. Couple relationships change and evolve as family responsibilities and obligations increase, so the abundant passion and adventures they used to do together eventually become occasional.

And that’s how, over time, love becomes stable. But some aspects can end up harming the relationship, such as boredom and apathy, as living with the spouse is in the background because there are other types of goals.

However, there is no need to regret or be surprised, as it is something very common experienced by some couples who have been together for several years.

You should focus on finding solutions to avoid sad consequences such as divorce or separation. Many couples, by not recognizing the problem, let time pass, which causes them to hurt or hurt each other until there is no more love between them.

A fractured heart

A  study carried out by the Autonomous University in Mexico found that what causes more apathy in marriage are the lack of involvement, novelty, carrying out activities together, conflicts, fatigue, lack of intimacy, among others.

Despite being major factors in the decision to end, it was found that most couples prefer to remain in the relationship because they are simply problems that can be fixed if both are committed to it.

The same with boredom, couples get tired of their lifestyle as there are no motivations, goals and dreams together. Often, they lose interest in recovering the relationship and, without realizing it, end up allowing the love to be fractured.

So how do you mend a relationship fractured by boredom and apathy?

1. Strengthening positive communication

Many marital problems are caused by a lack of communication. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to learn to communicate assertively with your spouse when something bothers, worries or distrusts you. However, if you want to regain the well-being of your relationship, I advise you to strengthen this point.

There are several effective strategies for learning to communicate in marriage. The first is listening, that is, letting your partner express themselves freely, without interruptions, without judgment or criticism; then, when appropriate, you can give your point of view.

In order not to hurt your spouse, express your thoughts in a positive way, saying that something is bothering you. For example: start praising and valuing some important aspect; then say what’s making you upset, and at the end, thank him for listening and understanding.

2. Breaking the routine

Often we are tired, and sleeping is the best way to restore the energy we spent during the day. Or there is simply nothing different to do but fulfil our role and responsibilities. This is how we can fall into routine and monotony in marriage.

It is recommended that, together, they analyze and reflect on the lifestyle they lead, in order to propose ideas and solutions that help them to regain enthusiasm in the relationship. It is worth mentioning some ideas to break the apathy and boredom, such as preparing a romantic dinner, going for a walk, exercising together, going to the movies, among other things.

3. Setting short-term goals

We all have individual goals in life, but when we set goals together as our spouses, the relationship can be strengthened. The key to destroying apathy and boredom is precisely to set short-term goals, easy, simple and realistic so that when executing them, both feel committed; and in the end, both feel satisfaction in realizing their dreams together.

Remember to involve your husband or wife in all your projects, in your daily life, in your decisions, so that both of you feel committed to forming a team. Once the first goal or objective is achieved, continue setting others, one at a time.

4. Collecting life experiences

As my father used to say, “When you die, you will take nothing with you but the satisfaction of having lived a wonderful life.” This means that we must collect many new life experiences to keep in our memories. In the end, that’s what we’ll always remember.

So forget the rules for a while and start having fun with your spouse. Play, laugh, become a naughty girl, run away with your husband to an amusement park, to a hotel room, wherever you wish; travel.

Kiss him intensely, hug him tightly, melt him with your eyes, that is, do things that leave a mark on his heart and memory.

Stop complaining and whining about your lifestyle! With these strategies, you will be able to regain enthusiasm in your relationship. Engage your spouse so that you both remain committed and thus work together to rescue the lost flame.

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